A week or so ago, I went back to teaching classes. I’m really fortunate to have only had to go back part-time, but even so, I was struck by severe anxiety the night before. While I was excited about having adult conversations (yay!) I was apprehensive about leaving my daughter with my husband all day. As if that weren’t enough, my husband then decided to book a photo shoot, meaning that my little one would be with him for part of the time, then my mother-in-law, then my dad.
Seriously? I wouldn’t have trusted Mary Poppins with my kid. And now this?
Needless to say, she survived and so did I. But if I didn’t feel good about my decision to (mostly) stay home with her before, I do now. For one thing, pumping at work sucks. I have a very strict schedule and since I’m a teacher, I can’t really take breaks. Since we’re in a rented location, there’s no lactation room. I ended up running to the empty upstairs bathroom to pump during my students’ fifteen minute break, simultaneously reporting any latenesses to my supervisor while ordering my lunch. I would NOT want to do that every day.
On the other hand, I’m glad that I have these days away from home because then the baby gets to be with other people and other parenting styles. My husband and I are diametrically opposed to the CIO method, so we rock her to sleep, hold her during every nap, and curl up with her at night. My MIL texted me in the middle of the day “Baby fussy. She cried herself to sleep.” (What?!?? I’m coming home right now.) But seeing that baby was mostly unscarred when I got home, it occurred to me that if I ever gave her the chance, she might actually fall asleep on her own.
So I survived my first weekend back, mostly intact and with only one major crying episode. How was your transition back to work?